Madame Web Review: Not So Tangled
After watching Madame Web, viewers may quickly realize they don’t have a clue who Madame Web actually is.
I knew vaguely that she was a fun combination of Spider-Man, Professor X and Jessica Jones, but I’d only met her as an elderly woman, confined to a wheelchair with amazing psychic powers. While conventional wisdom says the movie would take this opportunity to introduce her, instead they saw it as a way to reformat her story to middling success.
This newest iteration of Madame Web serves as an alternate origin story. Original predictions did not bode well for the film. Normally with a project like this, the blame game centers on the fact that the film has a female lead and any opinions of its quality would meet with misogyny on par with that targeted at The Marvels. Thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the case here. But unfortunately that means the problem is much more layered.
Madame Web isn’t bad, but it’s also not good. With a film like this, “better than Morbius” is not a glowing accolade. Ensuring the success of a superhero film with larger-than-life and enthusiastic characters doesn’t bring the name Dakota Johnson to the top of the pile as people play Cassandra Web. Johnson gives her most animated performance yet, but there’s a reason she doesn’t fit into that particular motif.
As a superhero film, Madame Web is fun and effective. It’s easy to want more and to see the way the lore builds out. As a Marvel property, it leaves a lot to be desired and many plot holes that simply remain unfilled.
Oh What a Tangled Web
Madame Web spins its own tale, starting in 1973 in Peru. Cassie’s mother is searching the forests for a spider whose venom has cellular reforming properties. Constance (Kerry Bishé), along with her assistant, Ezekiel Sims (Tahir Rahim) discuss the legendary Araña people who are said to have harnessed the powers of the spider and use the skills to avenge victims of the unjust. Just normal jungle conversation.
Constance is pregnant, and the baby does not wait for her to be back on US soil or even safe before deciding to arrive. Constance gives birth with the help of the Araña and sadly dies. One of the Araña promises to be there when Baby Cassandra inevitably returns to Peru for answers.
Fast forward 30 years to 2003’s New York City where Cassandra is a fast talking, slightly cynical EMT worker who maneuvers an ambulance around the city to save lives. Along with her partner Ben (Adam Scott) she enjoys her work, does well at her job and enjoys a simple life. When disaster strikes, Cassie has a near death experience that changes her life forever. Now she must understand what she was born with and why, before a dangerous foe hurts people around her.
Three Blind Mice
Joining her on this crusade are three seemingly disconnected teenagers. There’s the bookish Julia Cromwall (Sydney Sweeney), the neglected but appears to not gaf (but does), Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor), and the abandoned math genius Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced). The havoc breaks out when Ezekiel Sims (assistant turned villain) has a premonition where he sees the three girls stealing his spider and murdering him. He hatches a plot to get rid of the girls–a cruel case of irony as they never would have crossed paths if it weren’t for him and of course, Cassie.
Cassie saves the girls from being attacked and gallivants around New York in a stolen yellow cab. The three fight against time, distance and CCTV to hide from Ezekiel and make a plan to remain safe. Cassie has the double fun of having to discover and understand her powers while also trying to corral three teenage girls with little success. At one point she ditches them in the woods, tells them to stay there and that she’ll be back in three hours. Then she’s surprised when they don’t do the one thing that she – a relative stranger – asked them to do.
Each girl has a distinct personality while also looking terrific. They also have inner-city typical backstories that seek to explain why the girls can disappear for days without anyone noticing but really just sell the fact that they need validation and meaning and, at the very least, someone to pay attention to them.
The storyline could have benefitted from a lot more nuance and discussion since it borders on abusive. But in a nearly 2-hour movie that only featured Cassie going back to Peru nearly an hour and a half in, the pacing doesn’t allow for proper worldbuilding.
Stuck in the Middle With You
If we’re wondering about the Dakota Johnson of it all and the successes, then her initial interactions with the girls make her the perfect fit. She is impatient, completely unwilling to consider that she, too, was once a teenage girl, and she reams them out for acting impulsive when she does pretty much the same thing. Throughout, these admonishments cause the girls to apologize profusely which again – troublesome. A literal stranger saved their lives, yes, but Cassie’s also extremely vague with the girls. Johnson pulls off the dynamic without fully going darkside.
Past that, it’s hard to get past Johnson’s particular brand of blasé. She looks good, but any extreme emotions are DOA when she learns life-shattering information. In these cases, her reactions should mirror that of the audience, and it felt odd sitting there trying to understand how to feel about these developments. She has immense power, but she can’t really practice; she’s got to wait until needed for the powers to activate, and then she’ll just know. As superpowers go, that's pretty unsatisfying.
Madame Web has plenty of flaws, and there’s no denying that, but there are some bright spots. The film looks incredible, and the special effects are extremely inventive and fun. The bad guy is seriously bad and makes it that much more exciting whenever he gets foiled. Also, we love to see girls kicking behinds and taking names. Each one shows out in a very unique way. Director SJ Clarkson shines as a well-known TV director who directed the cult fave, Toast, starring Helena Bonham Carter. Madame Web marks her first feature film and a solid starter film, especially knowing she can only get better moving forward.
Overall, while Madame Web may leave much to be desired by continuity stans looking to place this firmly in the Marvel universe, it stands alone as a starter movie about a lesser known character. It had a goal, and it met that goal, nothing less, nothing more. Audiences may have an easier time digesting it on Disney+ when the time for streaming comes around rather than making an expensive night of it, but it is worth a watch.
At the very least, you’ll have some good laughs.
Madame Web will premiere in cinemas on Wednesday, February 14th.
SPECS: 5/10
Watch the trailer:
